Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Bad Belly

It's not really a bad belly in so much as it is a bad intestine or Gallbladder - hasn't been good since Friday last week. At first I thought it was something I had eaten - I mostly eat a gluten and dairy free diet, but had let somethings slip through whilst we were away, and I did scoff a meat pie on Saturday (I miss these so much).
However, I think this goes beyond that and I'm now feeling pretty miserable as I don't think my body has been digesting food properly for the last five days. (I found this information out on the www - amazing how much info there is out there about poop.)
I have pretty much been down and in bed. No energy, no desire to do or be anything. Went to see the doc this morning but he is sick as well.
So many connections between my mental illness and my physical ones I think. Just feel so bad.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Run Joey Run

I did it. I got flight today. I lifted two feet off the ground in a forward motion. I ran. If only for two briefest of brief times but it happened. I have been thinking about it for so long. Thinking about propelling myself more quickly than a brisk walk. Lots of thinking until I said "Bloody just go on and do it".
I didn't die. I didn't fall over. I didn't even get too puffed.
Remember it was for two very brief moments - but I feared those things may happen if I lifted my body off the ground.
I tell you what though - did my arse wobble!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Holding me back

The number of times I have thought about contributing to my blog since April the 26th have been numerous. The truth is I keep holding myself back due to my unrelenting standards. I read others' blogs and know that mine with just pale in contrast and so I simply don't commit. And I'm pretty sure that this whole blogging deal is not about that.
I also feel pretty crappy so often and who wants to read about that? My psych has told me I'm a quiet depressive - I don't rant and rave etc. That's because I don't want to offend or upset anyone (another unrelenting standard).
But if I can't even use my own blog to let out (and just perhaps let go of) some stuff then what's the point.
I hold myself back - constantly. I am my own worst enemy.

P.S I even get anxious about getting the labels part right. Are they necessary?